Life's A Dance

So, I bet many of you thought I gave up on this blog.

I thought so too.  Until today.

Today I ran unplugged (no iPod) which meant 5 miles of thinking.  I realized that there are a lot of thoughts, feelings and emotions that I haven't written about -- that's about to change friends.

Here some of the takeaways from my run today:

There is a difference between a go-getter and a "goal-getter."

Dad and I - XC 2011

Anyone can be a go-getter:  a person who works very hard and wants very much to succeed (according to Marriam Webster). But I was thinking --  what is the purpose of the go-getter? What are they trying to get? Where are they going? What are they trying to accomplish? 

I consider myself a "goal-getter."  I set goals for myself and will do everything in my power to make them a reality.  I have been this way since I was young. I started running competitively at the age of 10 when I signed up and completed a community 5k in Hershey with my dad. To this day, I remember the morning, the race, and the experience very vividly. It was the longest distance I had ever run before and by mile two I was in tears and we were both frustrated. Imagine if I had given up on running that day. Now at 24 I am a marathoner and a triathlete but I will never forget the day it all started. 

Mom and I at NEC's 2010 

That day, despite how awful I felt and the ridiculously long time it took to finish -- that's where my passion started. I found my sport. From that day on, I decided I was going to be a runner and I was going to run faster the next weekend and the weekend after that. I was going to run for the middle school team, then the high school team, I was going to run in the Pennsylvania State Championship meet and I was going to run in college. 

All of these things happened. But not in ways that I would have ever expected. 

Post-race celebration after 26.2 in 2013

I was never the fastest girl on any of my teams, but I was the hardest worker and never lost sight of the goals I had set for myself. 

Now that I have a full time job, live on my own and have other responsibilities. It is harder to keep up with my running -- but it is not impossible. It is harder to balance my professional, spiritual and personal  activities - but again, not impossible. I need to set different goals for myself.

I am currently working on refining and defining new goals.  I don't have championship meets to shoot for now but I do have marathons and triathlons, dream jobs and other life events to work toward. 

When crafting these goals one important point is that I can't settle for anything less than achieving them. In high school there was no better feeling than crossing the finish line at the State meet, and in college hearing the coach tell me that I had made the team and was on the travel squad was an unbelievable highlight. Both of these things would not have happened if I gave up -- and boy, were there times when I could have!

I have seen how not settling is evident in my athletics and professional world, but recently, I learned how it is applicable personally as well. 

It has taken me a while -- a long while -- to admit this but here we go -- I let a guy break my heart. 

I am a strong (sometimes stubborn) girl and try my best to keep my emotions in check and my heart guarded. However, the reality is that I am a crier. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I give my whole heart and soul into everything I do. (Again, part of the goal-getter mentality.)

When a relationship ended in the fall, I fell apart inside but tried to stay strong on the outside. Recently, I realized that it is ok to be sad, hurt, and confused over losing someone who was very much a part of my world for a good part of a year.  Also, keeping those emotions inside is not healthy and just ate me up -- not worth it. 

I had my reasons for holding on to my emotions in like I did.  One reason was that I didn't want him to "win the break up." (That sounds silly now that I type it out - but it is what it is.) In my head, my sadness was a sign of weakness and the empty feeling would go away soon because I am not going to let this guy define me. While that is so true, he had my heart in more ways than we both knew. I desperately wanted to keep my strong, tough-girl persona and didn't want to admit that I had some healing to do. 

The fact is that I could have settled for what we had but it wouldn't have been worth it. Now I have a better idea of what I need and deserve out of relationship. I have learned how to love and be loved because of that relationship. I have learned that being in a great, loving and lasting relationship is a new goal and something that I can and will have at some point in my future. 

Situations change. Life goes on. People come in (and out) of your life to teach you something you need to learn at that particular moment. Every day we learn, we grow and we achieve -- let's just make sure we are goal-getting in all aspects of our lives -- personal, professional and spiritual-- whatever that means for you! 

    

You Can't Hurry Love

Confession: I am a sucker for chick flicks! 

"Sleepless in Seattle," "The Notebook" and "P.S. I Love You" are just three of my favorites. These are great movies with beautiful love stories and grand romantic gestures. Girls can't help but want to cry and smile at the same time while watching.

I, like many girls, would love to know what it would be like to be the women in these stories. I wouldn't mind if Ryan Gosling  kissed me passionately in the rain, if I planned to meet Tom Hanks on the top of the Empire State Building on Valentines Day, or had that love-at-first-sight moment with Gerard Butler at a pub in Ireland (Guinness in hand, of course).

Well, my life is not a movie and I am realizing that it is better that way. 

I am going to be turning 24 next month. It is that time of my life when many of my friends are in serious relationships, moving in with a boyfriend or getting engaged. I am single and feel ready for that special someone, but I just haven't met him yet. 

THAT IS OK. 

I have decided not to listen to the negative voice that wants me to focus on what is "missing" and asking "When will it be your turn?"  Instead, I am full of joy for my friends who are in strong, faith-filled, trusting relationships. I am embracing new friendships, focusing on work and realizing that I HAVE MY OWN STORY. 

My story is not going to be like Rachael McAdam's, Meg Ryan's , Hillary Swank's, or even my best friends'.  I will meet someone when the time is right. He will be everything I need and more. He will be able to love me the way I need and I will learn how to best love him. I have to realize that I am not in control of when and where I meet this person. When I let go and let God put me in the positions to meet my someone, it will be so much better.

One of my friends helped me put this in perspective. He said, "Meg, you always say you wish your life was like a movie or a book but you keep wanting to jump to the end where the happily ever after part is and tend to forget that there is an adventure part of the story that will make the ending that much more joyful and unbelievable."

I have been reflecting about this during runs lately. I have found that I have to intentionally remind myself that my story is mine and cannot be compared to anyone else's story -- especially those of the movies! 

My friend was right. I can't hurry love. I need to embrace the adventure and take every opportunity to be awesome. I need to continue to bring sunshine and positivity to every situation and just be Megan.  One day, my someone is going to love every quirky aspect that makes me who I am and I will embrace him for all he is. It will be a love story that is made for movies. It will be my story.

pictures from:
http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/ps-i-love-you/images/3714584/title/ps-photo
http://www.seattlemag.com/mossback-monday-weather-wimps-and-sleepless-seattles-20th-anniversary
http://popwatch.ew.com/2011/06/06/the-notebook-all-time-movie-kiss/

Feel like a Rock Star

So a year ago I tried blogging.

It didn't stick (I published one post -  not good!). In my first blog, I wanted to blog for the sake of blogging. I did not have a purpose or a mission with that blog and it was obviously not successful. I deleted that one tonight and am coming to you today with more experience under my belt and a better understanding of what successful blogs can and should be. 

I am committing to you, here and now, to give you blog with a purpose. I am going to share my thoughts, feelings and experiences learned while running with an iPod.

Whether I am singing at the top of my lungs in the car or killing it on air guitar while running in my neighborhood, my iPod knows what to do.  You see, music has a way of explaining thoughts and feelings in ways I can't, picking me up after a bad day, or making me feel like a rock star.  Regardless of the situation, when struggling with something, celebrating something, or just relaxing with friends, there is a right song for everything!

I had this epiphany on a long run recently. I realized that if my iPod were ever picked up by a perfect stranger, they would be confused if they were to give it a listen. They wouldn't know if it belonged to a 12 year old or 40 something. I have a healthy mix of One Direction, Taylor Swift, Bruce Springsteen, Queen, James Taylor and Kenny Chesney.  Needless to say, I have awesome running songs to share and eclectic music library to pull from!

Also, I am not the only 20 something dealing with uncertainty with relationships with a boyfriend (or lack of) and I am not the only one starting a new job and figuring out the working world. I do a great deal of thinking during my runs and it is finally time to share.  

So, in each post I will share something I learned that day and the song that helps me understand what is going on or gives me a new perspective. 

Please come on this journey with me. Lace up your running shoes or turn the volume way up and sing along! Who knows, you may add a new song to your playlist or find a song that describes what you have been thinking about or  your current life situation exactly.

Thanks for reading... This is going to be fun!